I've had alot on my mind lately. Now that can be a good thing, or a bad thing. A good thing when it motivates you, a bad thing when it leads you to stress and frustration. If you've read any of my blog before this, I've talked about completing DTS. Now that's it over and done, it's like I'm beginning to see the world in a new light. And it's starting to break my heart.
This has been brought on by many different things, but mostly just viewing the world. In a place where our value was in Jesus Christ and we were so open and honest with one another, and then to come back to the "world" and see where most people have placed their value in and wear masks that we can never take off.
When have we turned from our foundations and looked for value and self-worth in the things of this world? When have we traded in our love and hope for nothing more than a conterfeit? We've lost all sight of what life and love really means.
When I say "we" I'm generally referring to the world today. Society. I also don't want you to read this and think, "Well, she's coming off like she thinks she knows it all!" Because I don't. I'll be the first to admit that I don't. But this is just me, trying to search for words to match what I'm thinking. And, well this is the results.
I hate that the world has traded in "family" and tried to replace it with something generic. I hate that everyday I walk past people who don't know what the true love of Jesus looks like. I recently ran past a person who I heard say, "I hate going to church because it makes me feel like an outcast." What would Jesus have to say about that? It's heartbreaking to see that this is the world we live in. If you're a Christian, you may know what I'm talking about. This time were you feel like darkness is slowly edging out the light. And you know it's not, so you hold on and wait for the light of day to break through once again. That's where I'm at.
I hate that Christianity has become nothing more than another religion. And I hate the part that I play in that. I'll admit that many times in my life I've turned a relationship with Jesus into a set of rules. I've turned praying into a vending machine from God. I've prayed for answers, but never wanted to be a part of the answers. I claimed I "knew" God, but I didn't know who He really was. I was among the very worst of them. And that's when Christianity became a religion. That's when it became stale and I slowly started to die on the inside. I had to turn back to Jesus and really seek who He is. I had to realize I don't know everything about God and I had to admit that. And be okay with that. I had to get down on my knees and surrender. And it's when we do that, when we admit we need something more than oursleves, when we realize that we're not the center of the world and we don't have all the answers, that sweet freedom finally comes. When the grace of God steps in and meets us where we are. Where it transforms us into new creations.
I'm tired of the world not wanting to know Jesus because they can't see a difference in His followers. I'm tired of seeing the world die and knowing that we have the answer to eternal life. I want Christians to be radical again. I'm mostly speaking about me here. But maybe you fall into that category too. I'm done with this world, I want Jesus. I want to show the world who He is. And I can only do that through love. It all comes back to love.
"Give Me Jesus" By Jeremy Camp
"Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, just give me Jesus."