Trapped in a prison with no walls (and the way out)

You know something? God is awesome. Really. Sometimes He just shows you a brief glimpse of what we need, that brief glimpse that there is more. And it keeps us going.

I recently read the book "Sanctuary" by Ted Dekker. No, this isn't a review but if you're looking for one, I suggest going and buying it. It's THAT good. If any of you are Dekker fans out there, you know this guys is brilliant. And this is another tale that goes to show that.
    The thing about Ted Dekker books is that even when you guess at the ending, it turns out to be beautiful and heart wrenching. It uncovers truth with such stark clarity, cold and beautiful and intense that you're taken aback and when you close the cover you feel as though you've been on a journey. Because, well, you have been. A lot for a book. I know...and yet, I feel as if you love books you might know what I'm talking about. It's a peek into something....something greater. But really now, I'll just write about the book:
To explain what happens in this book would require a lot of background, a lot of the plot of the story. And I don't want to give anything away. This is a sequel to "Priest's Graveyard". It is about Danny and Renee, two who are madly in love but are separated by Danny's prison sentence (which you can find out why in the book). After Danny is newly transferred to another prison, him and Renee are both plunged into a game with deadly consequences. It's a book of intrigue and mystery, pulling you along until you are flipping through the pages with no plan to stop.
But the truth that I took away from this book is that we all have our own prisons. They may not be made with concrete or steel, but they are prisons just the same. 
    "In truth we all exist in our own sanctuaries- but I don't mean cathedrals or prisons. I'm talking about our hearts and our minds, which imprison us in anxiety, fear, insecurity, anger and other forms of misery. The walls and bars that keep most in a state on constant suffering are thoughts and emotions, not concrete and steel. It's a disease. Insanity. Most are afflicted but it, regardless of which side of the law they find themselves on or where they lay their heads at night. To be free of this is to be free indeed." Page 400.


What prisons are we living in without even realizing it? Mine would have to be the prison of fear. It keeps me trapped in doubts and worries and the enemy delights to see me trapped in it. What can we do? We cannot redeem ourselves for what a futile effort that will prove. So what do we do? Yet- But YET- there is a Savior that banishes all fear, breaking through every door and chain to save us. And then, when the pathway stands clear to freedom, He does not force it upon us but rather He waits for us to take His hand. It's our choice.


Colossians 1:13-24, "He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and has transferred us to the Kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of  sons." ESV


These prisons hold no power over us. Because we have a Savior who has come to pull us from the darkness. To Save us.

Stuck in Indecision

I read a blog post today that really got me thinking about decisions and choices, you can read it HERE. We make a lot of decisions in our life. Little decisions and big ones. Sometimes we make the right ones. But sometimes we make wrong ones too.

I’ve been known to be terrible at decision making. You give me a choice I will always answer with “I don’t know” or “It doesn’t matter” or something along those lines. People know that if they need a quick decision, then not to ask me!

When I’m faced with a decision, particularly a big one that involves my life or a choice that involves others, I freeze. I see the thousands of possibilities swirling around me and then I feel the fear of not making the right choice. I’m worried I will disappoint someone, I will make a fool of myself, or I will fail. I’m afraid of all these things happening to me. So I freeze. Stuck, paralyzed by indecision.

And that’s one of the worst places to be.

When you’re stuck or paralyzed, you don’t move forward or backwards. You’re in exactly the same place because you’re scared that that step forward you just took will take you two steps back. But even if it did take you two steps back, at least you would still be moving. And you would then know what you needed to change in order to go forward.

I’ve been stuck in the same place many times because I’m afraid to move. If I move, then I’m open, I’m vulnerable. If I move, the unknown awaits me. And that’s enough to keep my feet firmly planted.

But can I really afford not to move?

It may be scary, I may fall, I may even make the wrong decision. But I have to move forward.

"Go back?" He thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" Bilbo from the Hobbit page 69.

We can only keep moving. We have to be wise about the decisions we make. Sometimes God tells us to stay where we are for a reason. But that reason is never fear. If the only reason you are not moving is because of your fear then maybe you are meant to move on.

I believe that God doesn’t want us to be afraid. We’re so scared of falling that we won’t even take a step. Like a baby learns to walk, so we learn to walk in faith. We may fall a few times but we have to get back up.

Philippians 3:13-14, “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

Let’s keep moving on. Moving ahead. Seeking God with everything we have. Don't let fear stop you from stepping out. We can't let our fear of making the wrong choice stop us from making choices at all.

Is the fear of the unknown water keeping us on the shore?

Facing a New Year

I stand here at the edge of a new beginning. 12 months behind me filled with laughter and tears and 12 new months ahead of me, filled with the wonder and worry of everything new.

What will this year hold for me? Will it bring bad or good? Will it disappoint or will it change my life?

Where will I be at this time next year…..the unending questions are enough to drive anyone crazy. The worries crowd out many thoughts. If this is a new beginning, then where should I be going? Worry of disappointing those I love echo in my mind. What if this New Year is not all that I hope it to be?

I could be standing at the door of a new adventure, or standing at the door of a year just like all the others. What will it be? I suppose it will what I make it. And where God leads.

 But in this time as the start of a New Year is still fresh, this is a time to reflect on who we are, and who we wish to be. We could change that. The New Year holds the promise of a new start. Where anything is possible and for a brief few days, it feels like we can dream bigger and greater things than we ever have before. How are we going to change the world?

By the time next week rolls around, I might feel like I felt last January a week in. As if nothing has changed, as if the New Year holds nothing new, only days filled the mundane and normal. But what if I didn’t let it? What if I choose to make this a year that is unforgettable?

That question, in itself, is scary. Could it really all come down to a question I challenge myself with? If this is going to be a year where I step out of the boat and onto the water, I need Jesus to be guiding me.

In a way, I need this year to be different. I need this year to be an adventure. I can’t let myself live anymore in the mundane. But which door is the right one to take? Will this New Year show me?

So as I stand here, I pray. I pray it will be different. I pray for that door. And I face 2012 with hope, apprehension and excitement.

What is this new year going to hold for you?

A few of my favorites from 2011....

So thematic theme 117 at Written Inc. , is your favorite pictures of 2011. 2011 has been a beautiful year of change for me and I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store. Here are few of mine, as we look back at the year:

These first two remind me to slow down and enjoy the beauty of simplicity.

Not only are these some of my favorite snapshots of the year, but each picture represents something different to me. Each has a certain memory. And each is a small piece of life, so that when I look back at them, I can recapture the beauty and joy all over again. We can't stop or slow down time, but having photos are the next best thing.

Have a Happy New Year Everyone!

On a Journey

We're all searching. We're all trying to get somewhere.

Is life more about the journey, or more about the destination? Or maybe a little of both? This journey that we call life is always moving, never slowing, never stopping. We're constanly climbing hills, descending stairs to climb back into the sunlight once again.

So what's my point? I forget that life is happening NOW. I always think that I'll start truly living life once I get that job, once I start traveling, once I get married, once I- the list could go on forever. I'm constantly looking to the future waiting for a day that may never come around. I forget that life is now, life is living in those inbetween moments.

I'm a reader. I love reading. Blogs, stories, novels, biographies, anything. Except maybe historical fiction... Anyway, I come across incredible writers that can bring to life thoughts that you never dreamed were possible. But I never stop to think that they all started with just a pen in their hand, facing the same blank screen that I stare at, waiting for words to come. I think that maybe when I could write like them, then life will really start. When I finally become somebody, life will then be the adventure that we all wait for. I don't think that Jesus only meant life to be lived AFTER we get a degree. After we get a pay raise. After....No, He's given us a new life. To be lived. Now.

We're all striving to BE someone. To meet goals, expectations and dreams. I feel like maybe we're really missing what life's all about. Life is made up of a thousand steps, all carrying us onto to our final destination. We forget that life is living in those little moments that we think don't really really matter: Doing the dishes, washing the laundry, driving to the store. They may not be the adventure that we always thought that life would be, but they all add up to something so beautiful and so moving that it could only be called a journey. I don't want to get to the end of my journey and realize that most of it has passes me by while I waited for "life" to start.

"We plan our lives in long, unbroken stretches that intersect our dreams the way highways connect the city dots on a road map. But in the end we learn that life is lived in the side road, alleys and detours."
Miles To Go by Richard Paul Evans

Let's stop dreaming about when life will start, and let's actually start living it.

"Humanity does not pass through phases as a train passes through stations: being alive, it has the privilege of always moving yet never leaving anything behind. Whatever we have been, in some sort we are still."
C.S. Lewis